Do You Have to Forgive the Person Who Traumatized You to Heal? Forgiveness is not a prerequisite for recovery. You do not have to forgive the person who traumatized you in order to heal. And telling survivors to simply “forgive and forget” can compound the trauma by invalidating the depth of what happened. But forgiveness, when freely chosen, can also be profoundly healing. You can forgive for yourself—not for them. And forgiveness does not mean erasure: accountability can coexist with compassio